FACES | Ariana
10 min. read | Interview
Photography by Reibekah Jane
Featuring Ariana at
Glossier pop-up, Capitol Hill
Story by A.M.
In our series Faces we are invited into the lives of Seattle’s next generation of leaders and influencers covering a range of industries and specializations. We discover the role that fashion has in youth culture and uncover the many difficulties this generation faces as we pursue an equitable future together. Our many thanks to Glossier, Reibekah Jane, and Ariana for sharing her story with such dignity and resolve.
— A.M.
Ariana is a senior at the University of Washington pursuing her degrees in Interaction Design and Psychology. A Renton-born Northwest native, she moved back to Seattle at the age of eighteen after living in Florida for eight years. Her experiments in style have developed organically, largely resulting from external influences including both peer and societal pressures. And most recently, they fall into a category that might be described as rather typical for casual wear in Seattle.
Ariana landed an internship at a large tech company which, over the last three summers, opened her eyes to the state of fashion in the workplace as well the workplace itself. Her findings were unsettling, prompting her to reconsider her place in Big Tech.
“I’ve been kind of avoiding Big Tech in general. I don’t necessarily want to put my work into a bigger tech company. I kind of want to be with people who care about the actual practices of design and not just making things more efficient. It’s been an internal battle within me. Yeah, the money is good, right? But do I actually care about what I’m doing? This last summer, I took a break from interning in general. I was honestly just tired of the environment. As a woman of color in tech, it’s very hard to see other women who look like me. And it was a very exhausting situation to keep up this professional face, but also have to bond or relate to people that have nothing in common with me.”
While the inability to connect with coworkers can certainly speak to one’s fit within a company’s culture, the issues grew deeper, causing Ariana to question more than the potential contribution she could offer to the company’s bottom line. She began to question any impact her presence could make at all.
“There have been situations in tech where I’ve not been treated as someone who has a valid opinion, or have been treated as less-than because of my race. And I know that for sure. And I wanna be someone who’s not afraid of calling that out, especially for college students [who hear], ‘You’d be thankful to get a job in this tech industry,’ and ‘There’s so much money here, just keep your mouth shut and take the money.’ And I can’t fathom doing that at all.”
Ariana is an Interaction Design and Psychology student, after all. To ask her to look the other way on issues of diversity and inclusivity, especially in light of her life experience, is unthinkable.
“[In tech companies] we can get black people and Latinx people. But do we actually keep them? And how do we make them feel comfortable in this environment? I feel like many times I’m the only voice to [speak out]. In my design class specifically, I account for both the Latinx and black population.”
“I feel like, in many ways, I have to bring it up. Because it’s just me. And it sucks that it still has to be this way.”
Though her recent experiences in tech were cause for concern, they were nothing new. Ariana faced similar difficulties in varying degrees for as long as she can remember.
“My mom is Mexican and I currently live with her. And I don’t necessarily have much communication with my dad. So I kind of identify more with the Mexican part [of me]. I see my family in Mexico every year, I speak Spanish, so I’m more culturally involved in my Mexican side than my black side. It’s hard being a mixed kid. I’ve definitely been in situations where I don’t get accepted into either side. So I’m in this empty space where I’m like, It’s just me here. In Florida, I wasn’t black enough, or I wasn’t Mexican enough, to be in the groups with kids in school. So it’s a weird balance for sure.”
Fast-forward to October 2019.
“There’s this article that came out in ELLE Germany called, ‘Black is back,’ and it was basically speaking as if, like, ‘Okay, black people are back in fashion now.’ Like they’re popular and everything. It’s just like, yo, what?”
The article in question was covered by Today.com and featured a link to the official apology issued by ELLE Germany. And while the publication insists the error was merely semantic, commenters on Instagram were quick to point out that an apparent lack of diversity was at the root of the problem.
“I also recently read about Olympic track runners, especially black track runners. [The International Association of Athletics Federations] are trying to figure out [the athletes’] sex based on blood testing because they don’t trust that [female athletes] are identifying as [cisgender] because of how fast they run. So [the I.A.A.F.] are basically trying to prove that they obviously have to be a different sex in order to be that fast. So they test for high levels of testosterone and all these things. I just don’t know why people care so much. I guess I’ve been in this weird state of despair and hopelessness just because of how much I hear about it. And I know I probably shouldn’t be, I’m still so young. But it’s like, what did I just read?”
The New York Times has covered the nuanced and controversial story of Mokgadi Caster Semenya’s fight and subsequent loss against the I.A.A.F. for the right to compete in the 800-meter competition, for which she had previously won two gold medals. And while the future of gender in sports remains hotly debated, it’s yet another reminder to Ariana that being a mixed-race woman comes with barriers that many of her contemporaries and colleagues don’t experience.
“It’s hard being a mixed kid. I’ve definitely been in situations where I don’t get accepted into either side. So I’m in this empty space where I’m like, It’s just me here.”
“How to describe my style? It’s complicated, because I feel like I get my influences from a lot of places. A lot of it is from music and hip-hop culture. Internet culture is a huge inspiration as well. And by internet, I mean YouTube, Instagram, other influencers, makeup artists, beauty gurus. I kind of just see what they wear and I’m like, ‘Oh, I really like how that silhouette looks,’ and try to imitate it. Obviously this stuff costs like thousands of dollars. So I’m just out here in thrift stores trying to find similar things.
I have a lot of these basic pieces. I’m kind of a monochromatic person. I would say around 30% or 40% of my wardrobe is thrifted. So it’s a lot of jeans, jackets, stuff for the winter. I wear a lot of turtlenecks. I don’t really wear fancy clothing. I just don’t go to those kind of events.
I have two favorite colors. Basically, the IKEA colors. I have a shirt that I wear that’s striped with this royal blue and yellow. And I love it so much. I’ve washed it so many times though, so it shrunk and doesn’t have the same effect that it used to. But I still try to wear it. And then I have this silky, champagne colored shirt that I found in a thrift store and love the way it looks on my skin tone. That color is gorgeous.
Sometimes I’ll just look in my closet and see what I can do to combine things. If I wanna wear all blue, I’ll wear all blue. Call me fucking Grimace from McDonald’s, at this point I don’t care. I’ve been a lot more accepting of myself. And I think being in a creative field, people are a lot more accepting of people expressing themselves.”
“There were just a lot of restrictions that have been on me since I was a kid. I just want to be able to express myself in the way that I want to.”
“I was always a tall person. But growing up as a kid, I was definitely the chunky kid. Not gonna lie. I would still have people tell me, ‘You should go model, go do this, go do that.’ And it was just never a thing I could see myself do because of my weight and the way my body looks. I was never one of the skinny white girls. That’s all I saw. And that’s what I thought you had to be as a model. You had to be this tall, skinny, white girl. And I don’t know why, but I really looked at arms. Because my arms are chunky. And I would see these skinny girls with not-chunky-arms and I’m like, ‘How are their arms so skinny? I don’t understand.’ And then, obviously, [I developed] bad habits with that.
My school in Florida was very hot, so a lot of us wore shorts. I couldn’t wear shorts, but [others] could because they had shorter legs. I had very long legs, so I felt like I had to hide a lot of my body, or just not express who I wanna be, not even to cool off because it gets fucking hot in Florida. There were just a lot of restrictions that have been on me since I was a kid. I just want to be able to express myself in the way that I want to.
So I have been more accepting of who I am. I’m healthy. I’m a good weight. Sometimes I talk to my doctor and she’s like, ‘Your body’s fine, okay? You’re fine.’ Weirdly enough, that gave me a sense of comfort. And I was like, my doctor said I’m fine and healthy, so everything’s fine. But I’m really being happy with myself and dressing how I wanna dress and not necessarily caring about what other people think.”
“Quality to me is things that are not fast-fashion. Anything but that. I spend a lot of time in a store just feeling the texture of the clothing. And I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like you know when something feels cheap and thin and gross, versus something that’s of higher quality. And if I don’t know a brand or something, I’ll look it up from the tag and see like, ‘Oh, is this a high-quality brand?’ And also trying things on and just seeing the way it looks. I know my body type is not the easiest to fit, so when I find something that fits me well, that’s everything for me.
I find that a lot of the stuff that guys have fit me better. And I just like the aesthetic of guy’s clothing on my body. Honestly, gender is not a thing. I have male jackets and female jackets. I think I tend to be in the men’s section more just because of my long arms and legs.
My mom has a small business, so I definitely know the importance of shopping local. I usually go to thrift stores. But I don’t necessarily go to local designers. And I think a lot of the reason is because I think it’s probably out of my price range. I’m a college student, so my money is limited.
I really do like shopping on Asos.com. It’s like a step above fast-fashion. A lot of their stuff is a higher price, but I find that it just fits me better. So I tend to go there a lot. But then I have the really bad guilty pleasures of shopping at these fast-fashion stores, which I know I shouldn’t do, but it’s like, I ain’t got no money! So it’s kind of the only choice. So places like Missguided.com are basically fast-fashion-esque stores that simulate the styles that are current by basically ripping off the designers that are poppin’. I just find it a lot more calming to look online rather than go in the store because it can be overwhelming, especially if it’s a time of day where I don’t feel like going out.
I don’t know if I really trust many companies. A lot of the companies that I do trust are probably not big names. Probably a lot smaller companies where I know their origin story. But there’s definitely a lot of places where I’m like, don’t-ask-don’t-tell. And I hate that I’m saying that. But it’s something that I’ve put in the back of my mind and try not to think about. Because everything is made in like, sweatshops and by child-labor. Even the phone I’m talking to you on right now. We know where that’s made, the blood, sweat, and tears that were put into that. I think lot of the things aren’t made in the most ethical way. And I guess I’m at a place of privilege where I can identify that and also ignore it. Not saying that’s right at all.”
“I know it’s wrong. But if I was really into disagreeing with everything, I would basically have nothing.”
“Apart from just the human rights, there’s also the environment. In fast-fashion, we’re just producing a lot. And a lot of the time, we’re creating more than people want. And I guess we can see that with stores like Forever 21 going out of business. Well, also the Ariana Grande thing. But just in terms of the environment, I’m not very well versed, but I know it isn’t good.”
Forever 21 recently filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protections in an effort to restructure its business and prioritize online shopping. And Ariana Grande is seeking damages related to a failed collaboration and alleged infringement. On the local scene, many Seattle businesses remain committed to ethical success through radical transparency.
“So there’s this company called Girlfriend Collective based in Seattle and they make their clothes out of fishing nets they basically get out of the ocean. And they reuse those fishing nets to create leggings and t-shirts. And then, if that t-shirt is broken or those leggings break, you can give it back to them and they’ll remake it into another pair of leggings. So it’s kind of this cycle where we’re still using the same material, but we’re basically using trash to create something that can be used again and again.”
In addition to their use of ECONYL® which is a fibre made from recycling fishing nets and other waste, Girlfriend Collective sources post-consumer water bottles from Taiwan and manufactures their garments in an SA8000 certified factory in Vietnam run by a woman named Hien who previously worked at the United Nations Development Program. Quite a lot of transparency on their website, which is good for everyone.
“I know about American Apparel’s past advertising and just how controversial it was. I remember when I was younger being on Tumblr, I used to follow one of their models. And I didn’t view it as necessarily negative. I think a lot of people were up in arms about these girls basically being naked on a billboard, which I have no problem with personally. But I learned stories about the CEO and I laugh about it now. But obviously there’s problematic things too. I think the girls were in weird poses, and obviously that’s gross.
I haven’t listened to a Chris Brown song ever since the allegations of the whole Rihanna thing came out because I just found it fucking disgusting. And I personally have a very low tolerance for that kind of behavior. But it’s the same thing with R. Kelly and all these other controversial things. That is definitely something that I don’t support.
And in terms of shopping, it’s so hard to be so passionate about not shopping [against my conscience] and then realize the other faults. But again, it’s based on convenience that a lot of these places do get business from me.”
While having high ethical standards is essential, we live in ambiguous times that call for new ways to navigate the ambiguity. A large part of the tension between wanting to make decisions that produce a beneficial outcome for all, and having a diminished economical or influential capacity to do so, leads to distrust of corporations, disillusionment, and a feeling of hopelessness where economic and ecological equanimity seem impossible to achieve. Ariana has experienced as much, as have many others. But things are not as bleak as they seem. There are pathways forward. Innovations are occurring consistently. Calls for change resound both clear and true. And if Ariana had one message to share with the world, it would be this:
“Be more aware of the repercussions and consequences of your decisions. And have more diverse people on your staff because they will quickly call that shit out. I just always see fashion companies or designers or these big stores always fucking up in the weirdest ways. It’s like, how did they not catch it? How did it go through so many levels and you see the end result and are just like, did no one even think about how that may come across?”
“Just be more responsible and diverse in regards to the future and the repercussions of your actions.”
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